inhumandog | Entries tagged with trying to be good

[Iago sounds pretty chill. A little too chill. Maybe even drunkenly chill.]

Of all base passions, fear is most accursed.

Isn't that what they say? Or what he says? Why do you suppose that is? Since we're so focused on analyzing literature lately, shaming those who call the worlds inside those books home, I simply thought this would fit in with the recent mumbles. It's certainly better than the various new symptoms that plague the barge lately. And it seems to follow the theme.

Or perhaps...perhaps it isn't. I've never seen hallucinations that leave marks. [That drunken voice is a bit quieter now, showing slight fear.] And I've never felt what I feel on deck. [And a long pause here while he tries to regain some senses.]

So, do tell. Why is fear regarded in such a way? Go ahead. There shouldn't be any shame in revealing it.

[Private to Rex]

You were right.

[Private to Crane]

My item says you haven't died yet. I trust that's still truth? I don't trust anything the Admiral's given us now.

[Iago stands up on the rusted deck, runniing his hands carefully along the railing. No sense in getting hurt with it. He’s in pretty modern clothing, which isn’t really unusual for him. But what is unusual is the metallic glint of a dagger half concealed in his jacket. ]

I said I might see you again. [He smirks a bit.] I can’t exactly stay away from the barge, now can I? Not when I’ve invested so much time here. It seems that you’ve let the place fall into a tragic state while I’ve been gone, though. [He moves his hand away and then brushes it off, leaving the black hint of ash on his jeans.]

But I’m a warden now. Not that it really matters much. My change in status doesn’t really change anything else about most of you.

[He runs his fingers through his hair, giving the camera a tiny, thoughtful frown.]

I’m still a member of this place. Coming back here, even after spending so much time…away…this doesn’t seem unusual. When do we really become complacent, anyway?

[There's another long pause and he ducks back inside the barge itself.]

I suppose the Marquis left. How long has he been away?

[Private to Claire]

I never really apologized, did I?

[Private to Crane]

I’ve read this phrase before in books, used by children. I thought it would be appropriate for you. What was it…ah yes. I told you so.

[Private to Rex]

I'm finished with that walk. This place is a wreck, but it's basically the same. Meet me in my room? The door's unlocked.

[Private to Rex]

Can you meet me in my room? I need to talk to you there.

[And PUBLIC. Posted later, after talking to Rex.]

What happens in the span of two years? Or five? What can a man accomplish with nothing but time? When you can see nothing but eternity stretching out in front of you, do you cling to the past or move forward? Do you dig in your heels and resist the pulling of the tides towards that inevitable end? Perhaps that's what this place is. A river with a current constantly at your feet, dragging you to a destination you cannot predict.

I was once afraid of that destination. It was a terrible place of my nightmares. A place where I would no longer be myself. A place where my life meant absolutely nothing.

That's not exactly true.

Two years. Twenty four days. That's how long it took to get here.

[His tone changes to something lighter. More playful.] And you thought I never would. Graduate, that is.

Maybe we'll see each other again.

[OOC: OH YEAH! Sometime after this post, he's going to leave and be off barge. His room will return to barge normal during that time. BUT HE WILL RETURN. I'll throw up an OOC post about it when he does. I have no willpower, so it probably won't be long.]

[For once, he's not just recording himself. He shows his feet beside the larger track of some kind of carnivore. For those who are knowledgeable about such things, it's from a velociraptor. But it's old, half washed away by time and rain.]

These creatures. I'd never known of their existence, not really, until today. [The camera goes back to him. And he is totally in his element. Aside from the dirt and mud covering his clothing, he's happy. Excited. These sorts of ports usually bring out the best in him.] What a way to learn about them. Up close and personal, of course.

And - merda! [There's silence as he stumbles up into a clearing and turns the camera back around. It shows a Brachiosaurus herd, moving to another location.]

What is that? [Another pause.] Marquis...tell me that I'm not dreaming. [And it clicks off.]

One hundred posts and I have been here for one year and ten months, I think. Time gets a little difficult to think about when you take a three year break to be a general in a wasteland.

Hm. No matter.

Have you ever talked to a man in a mirror who demanded blood? Or been one of only a handful of sane people on a ship that was full of wardens who insisted on turning their inmates evil? Have you ever had to shoot your own warden because another inmate had injured him beyond all repair? Maybe you've returned from a long time at home, after being tortured, only to find that your betrayer is still aboard the Barge. So you kill him. [A gasp.]

No. I don't think you have. Because if you had, you would probably realize that this...what's happened here in the past month, two months, however long that you've been here...is going to keep happening. And it will probably get worse.

No, this isn't a story meant to inspire pity, as I know there are some with better stories of their barge life. I don't care about them and I'm sure no one else does. In fact, I'm also quite sure that no one really cares about what I just said.

You know why I know that? [Chuckle.] Because nothing on this damn ship can surprise me anymore.

So yes, tell me that I am boring, or that you don't care what I say. Or do something surprising, get some perspective, and just shut up while you wait for the next port or flood.

That's when things are really interesting, after all.

[Iago turns the video away, to the distant lights of the city. He's walking, but it's slow. He knows better than to rush out in the open...especially when he's unarmed.]

Two days to get there.

And what awaits us at our destination? Why is no one asking that question? It's not just a city. It's probably just a ruin with lights that never burn out. [He chuckles.] That's a cheerful thought to keep you going.

It's getting dark.

Don't die.

Welcome one and all to your own personal hell! Yes, this is to wardens and inmates alike. No one is immune to the horrors that will await you here! [He's trying not to laugh. Honest.]

I always enjoy when new people arrive. They always break the cycle. [He turns a bit more serious now, but he's keeping his tone light, for the sake of everyone else.]

To those who do not know, my name is Iago. Yes, most likely the one you are imagining now. And should you need anything at all, I can always lend a hand. And, on that note, if anyone is willing to help me lift something, I would greatly appreciate it. [Yeah, he's talking about his bookshelf that he torn down in his fit of drunken rage. He's about ready to start putting things back together...a week later.]

[Private to Prefect]

I think this is where I should apologize. If I do, will you accept it?

Marquis, could you spare something for warmth? This room is hardly tolerable with the change the temperature. I will have to take to sleeping in the common room if this continues.
( Private to Judas but, as always, readable by the Marquis )

Of course the Barge gets infested with...well, whatever these creatures are. Tribbles? It just makes sense, if you take the time to wonder. Not rats. Not insects. But balls of fur that have no mouths, no feet...and that coo.

Only here.

I must admit that the story made for some interesting reading. Other than that, I don't think there's really a reason for it, though I suppose there was no reason for it. This kind of thing doesn't need a reason, though it seems very odd to have been done spontaneously.

And they say I have a sick and twisted mind. I'm nothing.

Private to the Marquis

I haven't slept for more than an hour or so in three days. I wouldn't bother you with this otherwise, but that is what happened last time before, well, before the attack.

You see, I can be truthful.

[Iago, because he's a control freak and in an effort to control the situation, hasn't slept since the first nightmares started. At the moment, that's not exactly difficult, as it's only been a couple of days, but he's starting to get a little...off. He's halfway sleeping while he's writing this, so that's why most of it does not make sense.]

These dreams that people have been having, the visions, they are truly coming to life beyond the world. But the walls are talking now, like they are nightmares within the waking world. Or maybe we are starting to be merged with those nightmares. Normally, these kinds of musings would not cross my mind, but I've been ~~doing some reading on things I don't even remember now and there's nothing to~~

This Barge, she is tricky. How do we know this isn't some kind of...elaborate prank? She can do anything! She is the Barge.

Even the name is strange.

( Private to the Marquis )

I still have a bottle of this...drink that was given if anyone would like it. I have no use for it and it does not...match my decor.

Anyone particularly interested?

I have apparently been in hiding for much too long. And, at the moment, since there is a blissful lull in the goings on of this ship, perhaps it is a good time to venture out and find something that would be of some amusement. Unfortunately, because I have been...limiting myself...I am not familiar with much more than the places I frequently visit.

Suggestions?